Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
