So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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