he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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