hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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