:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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