Say something about gay babies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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