Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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