My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
