I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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