Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
These tits shall not be calmed
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
