Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
