What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize