Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
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I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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