Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
