White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
