I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
