you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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