There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Panties = found
Randomize
