Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
