8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
