I love black thongs
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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