Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize