He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
