shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
