And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
