my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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