Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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