omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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