he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize