The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
