My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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