if you like me you must not know who I am
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
