She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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