Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Everclear isn't food dammit
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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