It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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