Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
