I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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