every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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