day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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