You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
