She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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