Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
