You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
