Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
