At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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