I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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