maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
