I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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