is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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