chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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