Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
