the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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