When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
