Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
