She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
