Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize