Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
