Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
