Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
