After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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