At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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